Monday, February 25, 2013

the things you're afraid of

Well folks, here I am! Almost 7 months of marriage and I'm still breathing! Actually we both are. That's a miracle in itself. 

I do want to apologize for that long absence there. I mean, what kind of person has a blog but never writes anything? Geez. I was pretty busy though with the whole drastic life change and all. But now I'm feeling like I got my shit back together, so it shouldn't happen again. (at least I'm not planning on it happening again...)

First off, I would like to brag on myself a bit. I've managed to snag a good start on a dream career. That's right, you heard me! I just started my third week of being the Merchandise Assistant for women's active wear and swim at Belk! (<--check it out!) Granted, I'm the low man on the totem pole, and will most likely stay that way for at least a year, but I'm on totem pole. More than I can say for some. I just have to pay my dues to get where I'm going. Along with starting off my career, I've learned how to shop for groceries. Not like swing through Walmart when I'm starving and buy a pizza and enough wine to get me through my next paycheck. Like really buy groceries like a grownup. I plan a week's worth of dinners and lunches and buy groceries accordingly. The quality of my dinners may not quite be that grown-up, but still, I'm doing it. We have dinner every night (usually homemade) and are spending no more than $50 a week on grocery shopping. Yay me! 

Second, being married is amazing. Absolutely amazing. I was so worried that it would be so hard to go from completely independent to completely dependent, but it really wasn't that bad. Don't get me wrong, I had my meltdown the Monday after the honeymoon when I was trying to unpack my boxes and figure out where I was going to put 50 pounds of shoes in a 1 pound closet. Luke has been amazing. He has never pressured me to get a job just simply because we need the money. He was completely supportive of me waiting to find what I wanted. I was so worried I would be a horrible home maker and wife that he would change his mind about me. But our house could be disgusting and we could have cereal for dinner every night and it wouldn't matter one bit to him. (usually I'm super feminist, but I didn't want him to immediately regret his decision, geez)

Anyways, this is really just a rant about how I was so SO afraid of not being ready to "lose" myself to marriage, when really I've found a person I'm completely in love with..

My new grown-up self.

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